Downfall
by Tigeress419
Summary: Just my little take on Angel's thoughts during and after "You're Welcome", along with a song by one of my favorite bands! Please read & review, it'll mean a lot!


A/N: This takes place during "You're Welcome" and a little after it. Lyrics are in italics and the actual story text is unchanged. 

Disclaimer: I don't own Angel, or the song "Downfall" by Matchbox Twenty.

I wonder how you sleep 

I wonder what you think of me

If I could go back, 

Would you have ever been with me?

I want you to be unease 

I want to remember

I want you to believe in me

I want you on my side

__

Come on and lay it down

I've always been with you

Here and now

Give all that's within you

Be my savior 

And I'll be your downfall

He was happy that Cordelia was awake. She was the heart of the team and she had been sorely missed by everyone, but especially him. 

Wolfram & Hart wasn't the best place, but her glowing aura illuminated the darkness of this comment. But her sharp comments also stung more that it probably should. He could deal with Buffy and her group not trusting him, but not Cordy. She had been with him too long for that. She was the only one he truly had left. When he started on this journey it had been the three of them, him, Dolye and beautiful Cordelia. 

__

She was the only one that understood, and she was the only one that remembered Connor or Doyle. The emotions that were stirred up by that video she found, well they were intense, but hardly as intense when he found out the Lindsey was parading around with that name. Doyle had died a hero's death, he didn't deserve to have his name desecrated like that. 

Here we go again

Ashamed of being broken in 

We're getting off track

I want to get you back again

I want you to trouble me

I wanted you to linger

I want you to agree with me 

I want so much so bad

Come on and lay it down

I've always been with you

Here and now

Give all that's within you

Be my savior

And I'll be your downfall

Maybe those remarks hurt because she was saying all the things the voice in the back of his head had been saying the whole time. He knew she was right when she said he was getting off course, a part of him had known it for a long time. He knew that he was treading in a gray sea, and he was pulling his friends in as well. At the same time he just wanted her to agree and support him, cover over his doubts, she was the only one that could do that. He knew it was unfair for him to expect such contradictions but if anyone could meet and exceed them, it was Cordelia.

Be my savior

Only love can save us now

Come lay me down

Only love can save us now

I'll be your downfall

Our love can save us now

Love, save me now

Lay it down

I've always been with you

Hear me now

With all that's within you

Be my savior

And I'll be your downfall

All he wanted was for that kiss to last forever. He wanted her here, he needed her here. But in the end he accepted his decision, but that didn't mean that he didn't want her to change her mind. He could live for another century and never have another kiss like that. In that kiss was everything that they wanted, but could never have. All the dreams that would never be fulfilled, all the loving glances that would never take place all the embraces would never happen, all the words that would never be spoken. 

Now I'm out 

On my own

Here my feet, 

Or are they made of stone?

Did I make you go?

When I go, 

Wherever that will be

Can I take you home?

I'm coming home

On my bed 

Is it me or is it painted black? 

Saying- "Oh, Oh, Oh, let me be your downfall,"

"Oh, Oh, Oh, let me be your downfall."

"Thank you," he whispered. That is all he could manage. He couldn't move, the world had seemed to come to a screeching halt. Was this reality? How could this be? How could a force of nature like Cordelia be gone? Now, he was truly alone.

He wondered if he would ever see her again. Chances were he was going to Hell, but if he ever got true redemption… would he see her?

Somehow he managed to get to the elevator, up to his penthouse. He walked over to his room, and everything seemed dark than usual. He sat down and ran his fingers through his hair. He began to sob. Maybe if she had come to LA, never worked with him, she would be alive. Then again, she wouldn't be alive. Would she still be that superficial girl? Los Angeles, the visions, helping people in need, they had changed her into the woman she was, the woman he loved.

And now she was gone.

She had saved him from the darkness, and for that he was eternally grateful for knowing such a person that only came once in hundreds of lifetimes. 

"Thank you," he said again. 


End file.
